CKK 15 Results

Caribbean Kigo #15 Kukai Results

Players:1. Tatjana Debeljacki, Serbia; 2. John McDonald, Scotland; 3. Nakamura Sakuon, Japan; 4. Bill Kenney, USA; 5. Taro Kunugi, Japan; 6. Jacek Margolak; Poland; 7. Cara Holman, USA; 8. Ralf Bröker, Germany; 9. Keith A. Simmonds, T & T; 10. Franklin Magalhães, Rio de Janeiro Brazil; 11. Bouwe Brouwer, The Netherlands; 12. Olga Neagu 13. Robert Nowak, Walbrzych, Poland; 14. John Daleiden, USA; .15.Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 16. Juhani Tikkanen, Finland; 17. Vasile Moldovan, Romania; 18. Magdalena Dale, Romania 19. Reason A. Poteet, US, IN; 20. Devika Jyothi, India; 21. Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania; 22. Tomislav Maretic, Croatia; 23. Catherine J.S. Lee, USA


#4 FIRST PLACE

summer rain
my umbrella
unopened
--BILL KENNEY
Votes:435*** Points: 25
Comments: I like the way this haiku shows the poet prepared for a not-so-nice day, but then when it comes, finds joy in it instead.



# SECOND PLACE

23
after divorce court –
still, she offers to share
her umbrella
--Catherine J.S. Lee, USA
Votes:641*** Points: 17
Comments:If this was shorter, it would be my favourite one.



#21 THIRD PLACE
drought -
my son is drawing again
clouds and umbrellas
--Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania
Votes:422*** Points:14
Comments:Never to young to practice hope.


RESULTS CONTINUES

1
spring rain -
an old women under umbrella
picks mushrooms
-- Tatjana Debeljacki
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:No points, but I like the picture this poem paints and would have voted for it if not for the grammatical errors


2
screams of delight -
mother's umbrella's
become a kite
--John McDonald
Votes:22***1 Points: 12
Comments:


3
at the door / mother has forgotten / single umbrella
--Sakuo.
Votes:3***** Points:3
Comments:


5
paper umbrella
unfolded to cracking rains
smell of wax
--Taro Kunugi
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:


6
meteor shower---
I take
my paper umbrella
--Jacek Margolak;POLAND
Votes:22**** Points:6
Comments:1. So mysterious.
2. Love the whimsy in this one.


7
sudden summer squall--
my umbrella
safe at home
-- Cara Holman
Votes:2***** Points: 2
Comments:


8
cloudless morning
my little son demands
his own umbrella
--Ralf
Votes:3***** Points: 3
Comments:


9
two lovers giggling
under a small umbrella...
summer downpour
--Keith A. Simmonds;T & T
Votes:22**** Points:6
Comments:


10
The storm has passed.
In the muddy alley
a broken umbrella
-- Franklin Magalhães - Rio de Janeiro Brazil
Votes:421*** Points: 11
Comments:


11
folding in
the umbrella, one by one
stars reappear
--Bouwe Brouwer; The Netherlands
Votes:411**** Points:9
Comments:


12
rain stopped -
a pink umbrella left
on the bench
--Olga Neagu
Votes:*2**** Points: 4
Comments:


13
"an umbrella in the rain
in a deserted park
the giggle of lovers"
--Robert Nowak ; Walbrzych, Poland
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


14
in the wind
an insideout umbrella--
summer monsoon
--John Daleiden
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:


15
cloudy day -
in the evening waiter counts
forgotten umbrellas
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:11**** Points: 3
Comments:


16
my umbrella
looking up to the rainbow
during a heavy thunderstorm
--Tikkis
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


17
Walking through the rain...
only an umbrella for
both sweethearts
--Vasile Moldovan
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:


18
Red umbrella -
the sounds of rain drops
around us
--Magdalena Dale
Votes:33***** Points: 9
Comments:Very simple, very good.


19
on the horizon
above my umbrella
rainbow's zany smile
--Reason A. Poteet, US, IN
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


20
slate-grey sky -
she spins
her polka dot umbrella
--devika
Votes:2***** Points:2
Comments:


22
summer rainstorm –
people on the street wrestling
with umbrellas
-- Tomislav Maretic
Votes:22**** Points: 6
Comments:


quick link to past winners way back to kukai #1

CKK #15

umbrella image from...

Caribbean Kigo Kukai # 15

Dear haiku friends you are invited to participate in The Caribbean Kigo fifteenth Kukai

The kigo is umbrella

Send one haiku which includes the word umbrella
e-mail to

Example:-
opened umbrella--
the laughter of two friends
in pouring rain
--gillena cox

Deadline for sending entries is July 10th 2010
Deadline for sending votes is July 20th 2010

A voting list will be e-mailed to all players

Voting: Votes to be scored using a total of 6pts
Example:-
Haiku#76………3pts
Haiku#34………2pts
Haiku#8………1pt

Comments: during voting are encouraged but must be limited to 3 lines; when published these comments and the votes will be given anonymous listings.

Ballots: (votes and comments) to be sent to e-mail to
The results will be published here at Caribbean Kigo Kukai

After results have been posted, any comments you wish to make can be posted directly just click on comments at the end of the post

much love
gillena

CKK 14 Results

Caribbean Kigo #14 Kukai Results

Players:1.Devika Jyothi, India; 2.Nakamura Sakuon, Japan; 3.Tatjana Debeljacki, Serbia.; 4.Cara Holman, USA; 5.Keith A. Simmonds, T & T; 6.Jacek Margolak; 7.John MacDonald, Scotland; 8.Quentin Clingerman, MD, USA; 9.Ralf Bröker, Germany; 10.Ian Tuttle; San Francisco, CA, USA; 11.Bill Kenney, USA; 12.Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN; 13.Franklin Magalhaes, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; 14.Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 15.Melissa Allen, Madison, Wisconsin, USA; 16.Juhani Tikkanen, Finland; 17. Mary Davila, USA; 18.Catherine J.S. Lee, Maine, USA; 19.Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania; 20.Magdalena Dale; 21.Vasile Moldovan, Romania

#13 FIRST PLACE

My father's face
forty years later
back in my mirror
--Franklin Magalhaes
Votes:55***1 Points: 21
Comment:1. So true: we become our parents.
Comment:2. Like how it tells about the way we become more like our parents with age. And the memories it brings


#11 SECOND PLACE

autumn memory
of those walks with my father . . .
so many silences
--BILL KENNEY
Votes:423*** Points: 17
Comments:Autumn has been chosen as the season to link with memory and also the silent zones in communication between generations


#16 #17 THIRD PLACE
16
father planting
new violets
on his son's grave
--Tikkis
Votes:431*** Points: 13
Comments:The image speaks for itself, and the poet stays out of the way.


17
Father’s Day . . .
I try to remember
his voice
--Mary Davila
Votes:322*** Points: 13
Comment 1:Touches on loss and remembrance so eloquently.
Comment 2:The pathos of memory.


RESULTS CONTINUED

1
car takes the gravel road-
cradled in my lap
father’s funerary urn
--devika
Votes:*2**** Points: 4
Comments:Line 2 is strong, but line 1 doesn't need the first three words, "funerary urn" is a mouthful ("ashes" would do), and the word order of lines 2-3 is forced for false emphasis (line 2 would make a great line 3).


2
the smell of tobacco
reminds me
father’s big hug
--Sakuo
Votes:3***** Points: 3
Comments:A Proustian moment. Might have more emotional kick if line 3 were line 1, but you could argue either way, and there's more to poetry than emotional kicks..


3
Fathers birthday
Daughter sketchers him under the tree
He leaned his hat.
--Tatjana
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


4
my father’s orchard—
tending his fruit trees
reaping the harvest
--Cara Holman
Votes:3****** Points: 3
Comments:Novelistic density in a haiku. The shift from "his" (line 2) to "the" (line 3) is masterly.


5
a father thinking
about his only son ...
Irak war
--Keith A. SIMMONDS
Votes:31**** Points: 5
Comments:


6
Father's Day-
smoother than ever
his cheeks
--Jacek Margolak; POLAND
Votes:211*** Points: 7
Comments:


7
dozing
in my father's hat:
source of dreams
--John MacDonald
Votes:211*** Points:7
Comments:


8
Dad you did your best
May you rest in that knowledge
From Son who now knows
--Que
Votes:*1**** Points: 2
Comments:


9
father’s birthday
I pick up Mum
for mass
--Ralf
Votes:22***** Points: 6
Comments:A way of life--of at least three lives, in fact--caught with absolute economy.


10
Your Mickey Mouse watch,
Itself your best lesson:
Time is the currency of life.
--Ian Tuttle; San Francisco, CA, USA
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


12
one eye on the clock
the dead bolt sounds dad's alarm
curfew
--Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:


14
father's day -
tears in the boy's eyes
from the orphanage
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:42**** Points:8
Comments:


15
my father’s car
part of
my inheritance
-- Melissa Allen
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


18
that empty chair
at this year's celebration --
Father's Day
--Catherine J.S. Lee, Maine, USA
Votes:2*1*** Points: 5
Comments:Absence becomes more prominent during celebration. The way his predominance is maintained, signified by the empty chair, even in his absence.


19
first shaving -
the old blazor reminds me
of my dad
--Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


20
After his death
the dust on my dad’s hat…
ice moon
--Magdalena Dale
Votes:5*1*** Points: 8
Comments 1: L1 not necessary needed?
the dust
on my dad's hat ...
ice moon
Comments 2:I'm not sure about the jux, but I can see the dust.


21
Alway an empty chair
at the head of the table-
my father's
--Vasile Moldovan, Romania
Votes:3***** Points: 3
Comments:First word, always, not needed?



LATE ENTRY received while voting was in process
faded photo
getting to meet father
for the first time
--Warren Gossett; USA

quick link to past winners way back to kukai #1

CKK #14

hat rack image from...

Caribbean Kigo Kukai # 14

Dear haiku friends you are invited to participate in The Caribbean Kigo fourteenth Kukai

The theme is fathers

Send one haiku which incorporates this theme e-mail to

Example:-
the hat rack
the house where i grew up
only dad's hat
--gillena cox

During the month of June many countries all over the globe celebrate in some special way fathers

...Historians have recorded that there was a tradition to celebrate Father's Day even thousands of years ago. Their study say that 4,000 years ago in Babylon a son called Elmesu carved a father's day message on a clay card. In his message Elmesu wished his father a long and healthy life. There is no knowledge as to what happened to this father son duo but it is believed that several countries retained the custom of celebrating Father's Day...more

Deadline for sending entries is June 10th 2010
Deadline for sending votes is June 20th 2010

A voting list will be e-mailed to all players

Voting: Votes to be scored using a total of 6pts
Example:-
Haiku#76………3pts
Haiku#34………2pts
Haiku#8………1pt

Comments during voting are encouraged but must be limited to 3 lines; when published these comments and the votes will be given anonymous listings.
Ballots(votes and comments)to be sent e-mail to

The results will be published here at Caribbean Kigo Kukai

After results have been posted, any comments you wish to make can be posted directly just click on comments at the end of the post

much love
gillena

CKK #13 Results

Caribbean Kigo #13 Kukai Results

Players: 1. John McDonald, Scotland; 2. Jacek Margolak; Poland; 3. Quentin Clingerman,MD, USA; 4. Ralf Bröker, Germany; 5. Ian Tuttle, San Francisco,California,U.S.A.; 6. Michelle Angelini, US; 7. Cara Holman, USA; 8 Juhani Tikkanen, Finland; 9. Nakamura Sakuon, Japan; 10. Catherine J.S. Lee, USA; 11. Keith A. Simmonds, T & T; 12. Tomislav Maretic, Croatia; 13. Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN; 14. Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 15. Bill Kenney, USA; 16. Mary Davila, USA; 17. Tatjana Debeljacki, Serbia.


#7 FIRST PLACE

strains of Mendelssohn
the groom fiddles
with his carnation
--Cara Holman, USA
Votes:215*** Points: 19
Comments: A nice clear picture of a very special occasion - evokes paradox of the
nervousness and happiness of the groom.


#2 SECOND PLACE

the scent of carnations
from a nearby garden—
evening rain
--Jacek Margolak; POLAND
Votes:323*** Points: 16
Comments:


#12 THIRD PLACE

toliko suprotnih// so many
osjecaja – samo// contrary feelings –
jedan karanfil // just a carnation
--Tomislav Maretic
Note: Yugoslavia the red carnations were worn on May 1, as a symbol of labor movements, but in the same time this flower was for us there the symbol of the bloody communist dictatorship (sometimes hypocritically called „socialism with a human face“). Thanks God, we can now look at the carnation as a flower free of any ideologisation...and... it is really wonderful !
Votes:232*** Points: 14
Comments: 1. A poem about why the poem can't be written; unusual, to say the least.
2.This haiku is one of my favorites, not only for the translation, but for the depth of emotion in the words. What language is it?


RESULTS CONTINUES


1
next to
the red carnation
the old cat yawning
--john McDonald
Votes:3*1*** Points:6
Comments:1.Snapshot-like; a good catch
2. L3 "an old cat yawning" ?


3
May 1 is May Day
Flag waves in the breeze
Carnations in vase
--Quentin Clingerman, MD, USA
Votes:*1**** Points: 2
Comments:


4
graduation ball
the carnations I bought
roses now
--Ralf Bröker, Germany
Votes:2***** Points: 2
Comments:Shows a nice transition from a school graduation to life's graduations of love and togetherness


5
She folds and refolds the highway map
In her daydreams
Carnations
---Ian Tuttle
Votes:11**** Points:3
Comments:


6
crimson carnations
bees pollinate budding blooms
cinnamon scented
--Michelle Angelini
Votes:**1*** Points: 3
Comments:


8
when younger
this carnation
was a green one
--Tikkis
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:The double meaning of this haiku is deceptively simple, yet in these 7 words are not only the meaning of the growth of the flower, but also the growth of the person holding it


9
finding love
in your black eyes
carnation
--sakuo.
Votes:12**** Points:5
Comments: A beautiful photo of a moment, but one or two more words might have connected the carnation to the love seen, yet I can see the black eyes shining with unshed tears


10
childhood carnation
of tissue and pipecleaner . . .
mother’s keepsake box
--Catherine J.S. Lee, USA
Votes:4*1*** Points: 7
Comments: Didn't every child have one of these, no matter what they held or what they were made of?


11
red carnations glow
in the patient's room ...
a broken vase
--Keith A. SIMMONDS; T & T
Votes:2***** Points: 2
Comments: Nice analogy comparing the patient to the broken vase. Much deeper meaning
here than on the surface; one just needs to be aware of it.


13
pink carnation
the crayon he picks
to make Mom's card
--Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN
Votes:52**** Points: 9
Comments: 1. There's nothing wrong with simplicity
2. The memories this haiku brings back are bittersweet. It's almost like saying, "I remember and would like to go back to that time...."


14
florist -
she gives the traveller
a glass of water and carnation
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:11**** Points: 3
Comments:This haiku is a mini-moment of "stranger on the train" friendship, an unexpected lift in the midst of weariness. No words are needed, the actions say it all.


15
rainy Monday–
but the red carnation
in an old man's buttonhole
--BILL KENNEY
Votes:41**** Points:6
Comments:1. I did like this, but how about this: " rainy Monday / in an old man's buttonhole / a red carnation" ?
2. A dreary day plus the weariness of age is brightened by the centered image of
something colorful and beautiful. Nice image.


16
the depressed petals
of a paper carnation –
shock therapy
--Mary Davila
Votes:*3**** Points:6
Comments:


17
Is reflecting
The carnation flovers
In the red field.
--Tatjana Debeljacki
Votes:****** Points: 0
Comments:


quick link to past winners way back to kukai #1

CKK#13

red carnation image from...

Caribbean Kigo Kukai # 13

Dear haiku friends you are invited to participate in The Caribbean Kigo Twelfth Kukai

The kigo is carnation

Send one haiku which includes the word carnation or carnations
e-mail to

Example:-
in a small vase at
my favourite restuarant -
red carnations
--gillena cox

Deadline for sending entries is May 10th 2010
Deadline for sending votes is May 20th 2010

A voting list will be e-mailed to all players

Voting: Votes to be scored using a total of 6pts
Example:-
Haiku#76………3pts
Haiku#34………2pts
Haiku#8………1pt

Comments during voting are encouraged but must be limited to 3 lines; when published these comments and the votes will be given anonymous listings.

Ballots(votes and comments)to be sent to
e-mail to

The results will be published here at Caribbean Kigo Kukai

After results have been posted, any comments you wish to make can be posted directly just click on 'comments' at the end of the post

much love
gillena

CKK #12 Results

Caribbean Kigo #12 Kukai Results

Players: 1. William Kenny, USA; 2. Ramona Linke, Germany; 3. John McDonald, Scotland; 4. Vasile Moldovan, Romania; 5. Sakuon Nakamura, Japan; 6. Quentin Clingerman, USA; 7. Keith A. Simmonds, TT; 8. Jacek Margolak, Poland; 9. Krzysztof Kokot; Poland;; 10. Juhani Tikkanen, Finland; 11. Cara Holman, USA; 12. Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 13. John Daleiden; Avondale, AZ, USA; 14. Mary Davila, USA; 15. Catherine J.S. Lee, Maine; 16.Rafal Zabratynski, Poland; 17. Tatjana Debeljacki, Serbia


#16 FIRST PLACE
windy beach
a small boy struggles
with the dragon kite
--Rafal Zabratynski
Votes:451*** Points:17
Comments:1.I smiled at the image of a small boy struggling with perhaps a very large kite, trying to get it aloft.
2. Cute metaphor suggesting it's the dragon he battles and not the wind.


# 3 SECOND PLACE
kite-flying -
father holds his son's
coat-tail
--john McDonald
Votes:612*** Points: 14
Comments:I like it not just because of the humor implied that the kite might fly away with his son but the grain of truth that on a windy day and for a young enough child that you might have to sturdy them from being pull off balance and to reassure the child. Since the word coat-tail reminds me of the expression of gaining success on others achievements I wonder if it was chosen here saying that the father was vicariously flying the kite as well.


#8 #15 THIRD PLACE

8
windy day
the rainbow of kites
on a cloudless sky
--Jacek Margolak; POLAND
Votes:241*** Points:13
Comments:Nice metaphor and irony with cloudless sky. I'm not sure you need line 1.

*

15
spring regatta –
a white kite catches
the salt breeze
--Catherine J.S. Lee
Votes:431*** Points:13
Comments:1.Very vivid-- I like the way so much is implied in so few words. I imagine a sparkling breezy day, and the white of the regatta sails.
2.Nicely done, I enjoyed the association of kiting with sailing.


RESULTS CONTINUES


1
kites in the wind
children run along the beach
waving their arms
--BILL KENNEY
Votes:21**** Points: 4
Comments:This reminded me of the feeling of flight when holding the kite string and I like that it was only implied in lines 2 and 3.


2
seaside hotel …
kites weave a gaudy pattern
into my evening sky
--Ramona Linke, Germany
Votes:21**** Points:4
Comments:"Gaudy" has a negative connotation for me like the excessive bulb and neon light displays of Las Vegas so I don't understand the comparison to kites. I was also confused about flying and being able to see kites at night. Are they spotlit on seashores?


4
Airy  accident-
a kite's tail catches
at a straw
--Vasile Moldovan, ROMANIA
Votes:2***** Points:2
Comments:I like this. I was confused by use of the word straw, isn't straw grain/hay that has already been threshed then bundled or bailed or laid for bedding? Maybe something like 'skims the hay field'? I wonder for line 1 something else that wouldn't give it away and more concrete.


5
I'll kite
to win violence
of human nature
--sakuo
Votes:1***** Points:1
Comments:A bit abstract. I don't understand the word choice 'violence'.


6
Kite high in the sky
Tail wind made it soar so high
Long time descending
--Quentin Clingerman; USA
Votes:****** Points:00
Comments:I want to read it with more description and less narration and perhaps with an implied meaning or message. The repeat of the word high seems only to satisfy they 5-7-5 syllable count and not contribute to the message


7
father and son
reeling the sunset in
with their mad bull kite
--Keith A. Simmonds; T & T
Votes:1*1*** Points: 4
Comments:I like the metaphors. I wonder if instead to imply them.


9
gusty desert wind -
little Afghan is strugging
with colour kite
--KRZYSZTOF KOKOT PL
Votes:**1*** Points: 3
Comments:I don't understand the reason for pointing out the child's nationality. Perhaps if the kite colors were that of a flag? In strugging I think your missing the L for struggling.


10
I'm feeling cold --
how do you manage,
my kite, up there?
--Tikkis
Votes:2***** Points:2
Comments:1. I found this charming, the way the writer anthropomorphizes the kite.
2.I like it. I was initially confused by the phrasing, unsure who you were asking the question to, God, the wind, the sun, etc. but now I understand it's to the kite its self. I wonder about rephrasing like... shivering - little kite - how do you manage?


11
kite tails tease the waves
the spray of surf
upon her face
--Cara Holman, USA
Votes:21**** Points: 4
Comments:Nice metaphor. I also enjoyed the iambic rhythm in lines 2 and 3.


12
brisk morning -
eagle-shaped kite
over the rainbow
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:11**** Points:3
Comments:Nice metaphor. Not sure what Line 1 adds. I want to read a little more to the message.


13
a rose red kite
among the April clouds
my billet deux
--John Daleiden, Avondale, AZ
Votes:1****1 Points:7
Comments:I had to look it up, billet deux is a love letter, right? A charming juxtaposition of this romantic description and a love letter.


14
another kite dragged
through the dying winds . . .
second hand smoke
--Mary Davila
Votes:*1**** Points: 2
Comments:I read juxtaposition of a drooping kite and second hand cigarette smoke which is exposure to non-smokers implying children. With such a strong message I wonder about it expressed even less direct, instead of dying winds describe the kites difficulty, instead of second hand smoke describe it order or appearance


17
What is that dad
The little boy is curious
A kite made of paper.
--Tatjana Debeljacki
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:I want to read it with more showing and less telling and with some connotation or message.

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This poem was received too late to be listed for votes

stormy day
the flying line ends in
mother's comfort
--Ralf Bröker,Germany

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