CKK 14 Results

Caribbean Kigo #14 Kukai Results

Players:1.Devika Jyothi, India; 2.Nakamura Sakuon, Japan; 3.Tatjana Debeljacki, Serbia.; 4.Cara Holman, USA; 5.Keith A. Simmonds, T & T; 6.Jacek Margolak; 7.John MacDonald, Scotland; 8.Quentin Clingerman, MD, USA; 9.Ralf Bröker, Germany; 10.Ian Tuttle; San Francisco, CA, USA; 11.Bill Kenney, USA; 12.Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN; 13.Franklin Magalhaes, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; 14.Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 15.Melissa Allen, Madison, Wisconsin, USA; 16.Juhani Tikkanen, Finland; 17. Mary Davila, USA; 18.Catherine J.S. Lee, Maine, USA; 19.Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania; 20.Magdalena Dale; 21.Vasile Moldovan, Romania

#13 FIRST PLACE

My father's face
forty years later
back in my mirror
--Franklin Magalhaes
Votes:55***1 Points: 21
Comment:1. So true: we become our parents.
Comment:2. Like how it tells about the way we become more like our parents with age. And the memories it brings


#11 SECOND PLACE

autumn memory
of those walks with my father . . .
so many silences
--BILL KENNEY
Votes:423*** Points: 17
Comments:Autumn has been chosen as the season to link with memory and also the silent zones in communication between generations


#16 #17 THIRD PLACE
16
father planting
new violets
on his son's grave
--Tikkis
Votes:431*** Points: 13
Comments:The image speaks for itself, and the poet stays out of the way.


17
Father’s Day . . .
I try to remember
his voice
--Mary Davila
Votes:322*** Points: 13
Comment 1:Touches on loss and remembrance so eloquently.
Comment 2:The pathos of memory.


RESULTS CONTINUED

1
car takes the gravel road-
cradled in my lap
father’s funerary urn
--devika
Votes:*2**** Points: 4
Comments:Line 2 is strong, but line 1 doesn't need the first three words, "funerary urn" is a mouthful ("ashes" would do), and the word order of lines 2-3 is forced for false emphasis (line 2 would make a great line 3).


2
the smell of tobacco
reminds me
father’s big hug
--Sakuo
Votes:3***** Points: 3
Comments:A Proustian moment. Might have more emotional kick if line 3 were line 1, but you could argue either way, and there's more to poetry than emotional kicks..


3
Fathers birthday
Daughter sketchers him under the tree
He leaned his hat.
--Tatjana
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


4
my father’s orchard—
tending his fruit trees
reaping the harvest
--Cara Holman
Votes:3****** Points: 3
Comments:Novelistic density in a haiku. The shift from "his" (line 2) to "the" (line 3) is masterly.


5
a father thinking
about his only son ...
Irak war
--Keith A. SIMMONDS
Votes:31**** Points: 5
Comments:


6
Father's Day-
smoother than ever
his cheeks
--Jacek Margolak; POLAND
Votes:211*** Points: 7
Comments:


7
dozing
in my father's hat:
source of dreams
--John MacDonald
Votes:211*** Points:7
Comments:


8
Dad you did your best
May you rest in that knowledge
From Son who now knows
--Que
Votes:*1**** Points: 2
Comments:


9
father’s birthday
I pick up Mum
for mass
--Ralf
Votes:22***** Points: 6
Comments:A way of life--of at least three lives, in fact--caught with absolute economy.


10
Your Mickey Mouse watch,
Itself your best lesson:
Time is the currency of life.
--Ian Tuttle; San Francisco, CA, USA
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


12
one eye on the clock
the dead bolt sounds dad's alarm
curfew
--Reason A. Poteet, USA, IN
Votes:1***** Points: 1
Comments:


14
father's day -
tears in the boy's eyes
from the orphanage
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:42**** Points:8
Comments:


15
my father’s car
part of
my inheritance
-- Melissa Allen
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


18
that empty chair
at this year's celebration --
Father's Day
--Catherine J.S. Lee, Maine, USA
Votes:2*1*** Points: 5
Comments:Absence becomes more prominent during celebration. The way his predominance is maintained, signified by the empty chair, even in his absence.


19
first shaving -
the old blazor reminds me
of my dad
--Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania
Votes:****** Points:
Comments:


20
After his death
the dust on my dad’s hat…
ice moon
--Magdalena Dale
Votes:5*1*** Points: 8
Comments 1: L1 not necessary needed?
the dust
on my dad's hat ...
ice moon
Comments 2:I'm not sure about the jux, but I can see the dust.


21
Alway an empty chair
at the head of the table-
my father's
--Vasile Moldovan, Romania
Votes:3***** Points: 3
Comments:First word, always, not needed?



LATE ENTRY received while voting was in process
faded photo
getting to meet father
for the first time
--Warren Gossett; USA

quick link to past winners way back to kukai #1