( None of the comments are from the kukai coordinator. Comments and votes of the players are anonymously stated)
Players:1. William Kenney, USA; 2. Quentin Clingerman, USA; 3. John McDonald, Scotland; 4.Gheorghe Postelnicu , Romania; 5.Cara Holman, USA; 6. Tomislav Maretic; Croatia; 7. Kirsten Cliff, New Zealand; 8. S.E. Buffington, USA; 9. Bouwe Brouwer, The Netherlands; 10. Asni Amin, Singapore; 11. Patty Hardin; 12. Ralf Bröker, Germany; 13. Robert Kania, Poland; 14. Dan Iulian, Romania; 15. Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland; 16. Paul David Mena,USA; 17. Christine L. Villa, USA; 18. John Daleiden: Phoenix, Arizona in the Sonoran Desert; 19. Vinay.R Leo,Bangalore, India; 20. Cezar-Florian Ciobîca, Romania; 21. Ana-Maria Trandafir, Bucharest, Romania;
FIRST PLACE
1
high diver
at the platform's edge
stillness
--BILL KENNEY, USA
Votes:553*** Points: 24
Comments :An enjoyable read; the best words in the best order, that also translates visually with L2 acting as the platform. The tension builds as we view the image set up here: a high diver at the edge of the platform about to attempt what s/he has trained many hours for. And then we are left with just that one word, “stillness”. The diver? The crowd? Me? Yes, to all three!
SECOND PLACE
11
stripping away
her gold medal
the alarm clock
--Patty Hardin
Votes:6*3*** Points: 15
Comments :This senryu stuck me straight away; powerful and yet humbling. My first readings of it were of an Olympian who had won a medal, but that this is stripped away at the sound of the alarm clock as the athlete has to rise every morning, just like everyone else, and go to work, or to study. A medal doesn't count in the everyday world. Or maybe it's just that the athlete had to get up and train for the next event. Again, the medal doesn't matter. The focus and the training, and the repetition of this with it's grueling early morning starts, is what is needed to win in the future. I gave it my top points because of this. It wasn't until later
readings that I realised the senryu could also (and maybe more likely) be about a person (maybe an athlete and maybe not) having won a medal in a dream, only to have it disappear when brought back to their waking reality. In reading the senryu this way, I still enjoy it, as it is well constructed. Dream ku can be very effective as dreams and their symbols lend themselves to be explored through poetry.
THIRD PLACE
7
Olympics on TV
I sit folding origami
peace cranes
--Kirsten Cliff (New Zealand)
Votes:531*** Points: 14
Comments :
RESULTS CONTINUES
2
Difference to win
Hundereth of a second
Wins the Gold medal
--Que Clingerman
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
3
back-garden olympics -
sqirrel wins
the gymnastics
--John McDonald
Votes:24**** Points: 10
Comments :
4
gypsy pickpocket -
stealing the OLYMPIC RINGS
breaks the record
--STOPS, ROMANIA
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
5
passing the torch
a new generation
takes the medal stand
--Cara Holman
Votes:21***1 Points: 10
Comments :
6
gold medal for table tennis--
I can't decide for which
Chinese to root
--Tom
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
8
gymnastics
the five ring circus
in full swing
--S.E. Buffington, USA
Votes:3***** Points: 03
Comments :
9
a wave passes
through the stadium -
relay finals
--Bouwe
Votes:412*** Points: 12
Comments :
10
just by a second
that's all it takes ...
to win the gold
--Asni Amin, Singapore
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
12
amidst the cheers
a referee eats his words ...
and we win gold
--Ralf Bröker, Germany
Votes:1***** Points: 01
Comments: Great use of language; especially, “a referee eats his words”. The addition of the ellipsis gave me that extra pause, and I could imagine the last few seconds ticking over before the event ended and the result was confirmed. The use of “we” is interesting: it could have been a team sport, but more likely the “we” that we all use when “our” team or country have won. Simple yet effective.
13
neglected stadium -
only the frog
is jumping into the distance
--Robert Kania, Poland
Votes:3***** Points: 03
Comments
14
gym-
lost above apparatus
a flake of dandelion
--Dan Iulian, RO
Votes:2***** Points: 02
Comments :
15
olympic swimming pool -
a little boy ask
where is the lifeguard?
--Andrzej Dembonczyk, Silesia, Poland
Votes:511*** Points: 10
Comments :
16
London pub crawl --
five amber rings
on a bar towel
--Paul David Mena
Votes:41**** Points: 06
Comments :
17
finish line . . .
the winner kisses the ground
glistening with rain
--Christine L. Villa, USA
Votes:2*1*** Points: 05
Comments :
18
Olympic gold—
on the podium their smiles
brush away pain
--John Daleiden: Phoenix, Arizona in the Sonoran Desert
Votes:2*11** Points: 09
Comments :catches the totality of winning--both the glory and the necessary effort(which causes pain).
19
mothers' honour
and my own pride -
gold rush
--Vinay.R ~Leo~Bangalore, India
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
20
gymnastics final...
standing ovations for
the lord of the rings
--Cezar F. Ciobîca
Votes:****** Points: 00
Comments :
21
watching athletics
next to my old grandma...
this smooth, dry evening
--Ana-Maria Trandafir (Bucharest, Romania )
Votes:1***** Points: 01
Comments :
CKK welcomes: Kirsten Cliff , S.E. Buffington, Vinay.R Leo and Ana-Maria Trandafir; thank you for joining us.
ReplyDeleteYou can view first kukai results here
Twentyone players took part in this kukai; however votes from twenty people were received. An invitation for a guest voter was posted at the Facebook group and Patricia Lidia first responded to the request Thank you Patricia for pitching in
Thanks to all for making Kukai #37 a success
much love
gillena
Founder/Co-odinator Caribbean Kigo Kukai
Little sad for not getting a point :(
ReplyDeleteBut waiting for September to try again. Had fun. :)
Thanks for the welcome, Gillena. :)
Leo.
Thank you for the welcome, Gillena.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this, my first kukai, and coming third was the cherry blossom on top. ;-)
Looking forward to the next one!